“Yes” is the only thing that explicitly means “yes” in sexual situations. The absence of “no” does not imply the presence of a “yes.” These are some of the most basic guidelines to engaging in consensual sex — regardless of what kind of sex that might be, including anal sex. (Note: They are not the only guidelines.)
Outlining this might seem elementary. New findings on teens’ sexual behavior, however, indicate that clear pronouncements of what constitutes consensual anal sex are very, very much needed.
According to researchers from the London School of Hygiene & Tropical Medicine, young men are not always concerned about getting consent to perform anal sex with female partners, normalizing the idea that coercion and pain are normal parts of a young woman’s sexual life.
The world has no shortage of people who will call you “presumptuous,” “egotistical,” “self-centered,” “overblown,” “callous,” etc. for simply having boundaries.
So I will reiterate, again. I do NOT have to humbly and graciously accept any and all attention I get regardless of what motivates it or how it makes me feel. I do NOT have to be grateful for shit I never asked for.
And really, once you accept the basic premise that people have other motivations for doing things than just “to get attention,” this will be a lot easier to understand.
Rudy Giuliani’s daughter arrested for shoplifting and is labelled ‘rebellious;’
Winona Ryder caught on camera shoplifting and found not-guilty.
Mike Brown ‘allegedly’ steals $.50 swisher and is executed for ‘robbery.’
(Source: New York Post)
Last week, another patient and I were really really down and we were just sat in the lounge feeling so horribly low and disconnected from the real world and so guilty about what we have made other people suffer through. One of our favourite nurses on the night shift came in and began talking to us, so we told her how we were feeling. Her response is something that I have been thinking about ever since really. She looked at us both and said
"It’s not your fault. You didn’t choose this. You didn’t choose to be ill. And you are ill, otherwise you wouldn’t be in here. You have no reason to feel bad about what you have done in the past because it was not you. It was your illness. You were not in control. Yes, use the beauty of hindsight to see what could have gone differently, but don’t dwell on it. Use it to help yourself in the future if things start to slip again. Just don’t blame yourselves for things that were out of your control."
And this, my friends, is what I feel we all need to remember. DO NOT feel guilty about what your mental illness has made you do, for that exact reason, your illness MADE you. You did not CHOOSE to be ill. You had no say in the matter. Blaming yourself for something that is out of your control is just going to make you feel worse. Would you blame a child for throwing up because they have a stomach bug? No. Would you blame someone for having a runny nose because of a cold? No. Would you blame someone for their physical symptoms because they are physically ill? No. So why blame yourself for that exact reason? Mental illness is like any illness, you are not to blame for the symptoms as they are part of an illness that is beyond your control.
I find it strange when people freak about innocent Gazan, Israeli, and Palestinian being killed but no could care care about innocent babies being killed in America, it being a right called abortion. Don’t those children deserve to live to? Wheres the compassion for those babies?
Wow, how strange. Some people actually believe that the death of actual people with feelings, dreams and loved ones somehow has significantly different consequences than the removal of a non-sentient fetus from the uterus of someone that doesn’t want it in there.
I need feminism because of backlash regarding domestic violence. I defended myself against my boyfriend when he started beating me, and was put in the emergency room with lacerations on my back, four stitches in my head, and a damaged cranial spine. I did not cause him any serious physical harm except hitting him in the ear, but he was not even placed in handcuffs while I was arrested and taken to jail. In there I met women in similar circumstances, defending themselves or their children, then going to jail with black eyes and bruises. The rate of women being arrested for domestic violence has skyrocketed since the ’70s, when feminists campaigned against it. Wonder why? (A cop at the hospital actually told me I was asking for it, without even knowing any of the details.)
This week, the Senate minority leader went mum when reporters asked whether he will stop holding up a spending bill that contains millions of dollars to help identify sexual assailants.
Here are some (true) facts about the axolotl:
- they exhibit neoteny, meaning they reach sexual maturity without going through metamorphosis
- they are capable of regenerating lost limbs, and so are frequently subjects of scientific experiments
- they’re critically endangered and unbelievably adorable